Monday, January 25, 2016

January 25, 2016

So there were a couple of NFL games over the weekend.

I should probably talk about them, right?

So I will.

The Denver Broncos are going to the Super Bowl for the EIGHTH time in their franchise history, tied for the most appearances ever. They are tied with the New England Patriots (who they just beat), Pittsburgh Steelers (who they beat the week prior) and the Dallas Cowboys (who haven't been relevant for a while (aside from last year, which was obviously a fluke)).

Yay Broncos!!

It should be noted, in case you didn't notice beforehand, I am a Denver Broncos fan so... I am really happy!

Have a great day!!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

January 21, 2016

I love learning new words. Not necessarily new, new words more new words to me. You know, like expanding your vocabulary type of thing.Sure it might be weird to some but to me? I love it!

Today, I had an experience that made me want to look up a new word, I won't go into the details of what that whole deal was about because I'm not really into embarrassing people publicly. Okay, maybe I am just a little, just not on the internet because folks you know that crap will come back to bite you in the ass when you least suspect it.

So don't do it! Just say no! Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Anyway, it evolved around me trying to be funny and come up with an alliteration around the word smelly and it had to start with the letter M. So I went to my trusty thesaurus, please don't hate me, and looked up synonyms for the word smelly, which netted me eighteen hits (hooray!) and two that start with the letter M. Not bad, more than 11% of the synonyms started with the letter I wanted them to start with.

The first was malodorous, which let's be honest here, it can be quite the handful to say, especially when you are matching it up with a one syllable name. Malodorous Mark just doesn't roll off the tongue for example.

The second was mephitic. Wow, I have never even heard that word before. Let's see what its definition is shall we?

  1. (especially of a gas or vapor) foul-smelling; noxious.


And it rolls off the tongue so much nicer too. Mephitic Mark versus Malodorous Mark, which would you prefer to say? Maybe I should run a poll on it? Nah.

Just thought I'd share my newfound word, maybe it's new to you too! 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

January 20, 2016

So in 366 days we'll have a new President of the United States. (I think that's it since this is a leap year and all)

Some think the country won't last that long.

Others want the man in the office to stick around forever.

Me? I'm really kind of indifferent and not very happy with any of the choices that have been presented so I figure I will find me a nice cave somewhere that has running water, electricity, and excellent internet and just wait out the impending storm.

Seriously, the next 8-9 months are going to be brutal, with everyone promising this and promising that while hoping that no one notices that nothing really changes except the man or woman in charge. Even though they really aren't technically "in charge" since we have three equal but separate branches of government, unless someone changed the rules while I was taking a nap or something.

Of course, we have the executive branch passing laws without going through Congress first. We also have the legislative branch failing to do their job of sending bills up the hill to be signed or vetoed by the President. Finally, the judicial branch that interprets the laws any way they deem right in accordance with their beliefs, which is a pretty sweet gig to get considering you're never elected for it and you keep it until you die.

Wish I had that kind of job security!

No idea where I am going with this except maybe to say that I think our government is a big bloviating sack of pus and it should be trimmed down to a size that is a lot more manageable and a lot less expensive to run.

In the coming days and weeks, I will be giving you my platform of what I think is wrong with the government and you will all laugh at me and ignore me but in the back of your minds, you'll know I'm right.

Or I'll do other shit and forget the government crap for people that get paid too much to worry about that stuff.

I really need to come to the keyboard with a better idea of what I'm going to say I think. This off the cuff stream of consciousness stuff is for the birds. Ha! Who am I kidding, I am an off the cuff stream of consciousness kind of guy, so it is what you will get.

Plus hating government speak too.

Maybe some cute cat pictures as well if they let me.take them.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

January 19, 2016

Hey there!

What's up?

How ya doin'?

Well, it looks like today was rock icon "death free" day, so we can all take a sigh of relief there and maybe move on to other things like, why is it so cold in January in Chicago? or why doesn't my car like to start in the cold?

Nah, let's just ramble on about whatever pops up in the old news feed. In this edition, I'll be using my own personal Facebook newsfeed to see if anyone else gets the same stuff I do.

Come on, it'll be FUN!

First up, a friend's post about how much wine to buy this weekend, with a lovely weather map that shows the Baltimore area needed a good 15 cases of wine, whereas the eastern edge of Indiana can make do with just one bottle. The east coast gets all the fun!


Next we have, a pun! A pretty good one too, let me tell you, better yet, let me show you, see picture below - assuming I did it right.

Pretty good stuff there, right?

Next up, one of my son's friends designs, I won't share that picture because I don't have permission to, the above pictures I assume it's all good as they are part of the Facebook joke stream or something. If I'm wrong about that I will find out I am sure.

I have a picture of a friends kid with his friends after playing some indoor soccer.

Another plug for 13 Hours - I get a few of these as of late, must be good.

Here's a good one, a story about how in college, nearly 10%, think that Judge Judy is on the United States Supreme Court. Yeah.

I will end this post with a funny picture, meme, or whatever it is. Because I want you all to leave here smiling. Unless you don't want to. I guess. Have a great night/day!!

Monday, January 18, 2016

January 18, 2016

Let me tell ya, there is one heck of a jam session going on in the afterworld right about now.

Rest in Peace Glenn Frey.

It no longer is a funny matter when artists you listened to while growing up are suddenly dropping like flies, it makes you start to feel old. And folks let me tell you this, the late 60's are not nearly as old as they used to be.

On a brighter not, the Denver Broncos won yesterday so now we get to face the New England Cheaters, er Patriots, for the opportunity to play in the big big football game on Sunday, February 7, 2016, in Santa Clara, California, also known as the Super Bowl. Not sure if I can say that or not since I am not an official blog of the Super Bowl but I am also a very small blip in the world of meta data and data data and interneta data,,,


If the defense plays the way they have all year I think good things will happen. If the offense plays like the did last week, well yesterday, I will be a bit worried and will probably yell at the kids or the TV, definitely the TV since Phil Simms, a.k.a. the guy that HATES all things Broncos, will be covering it. Alas, if the Broncos make it to the big game, I can deal with the pinhead.

Until then, let's just enjoy life and live happily ever after together.

We could also...

Friday, January 15, 2016

January 15, 2016

Snape is dead, of course.

He died while saving the son of the woman he loved for as long as he could remember. Snape is one of my all-time favorite literary characters and I was always fearful that when they made the movies, Snape wouldn't be Snape but some actor trying to convey the character in a manner that they thought would be best and not the way K.K. Rowling intended.

Thank goodness, Alan Rickman was there to play him because he was Snape, to a T.

This past week he passed away after a battle with cancer and I was honestly saddened by that fact. To me, there will never be another actor that can portray Snape as well as he did. Found out that he had a real life similarity to Snape as well, in that he found the woman that he loved at a young age but the similarity ends there because unlike the tragic character of Snape, he spent the rest of his life with her, over fifty years!

May we all be as lucky as Mr. Rickman and be able to find the one we love early and live long together with them.

Another great from over the pond died last week as well, David Bowie. Also from cancer and also at the age of 69. I enjoyed some of his music but I mostly loved the way he handled life with class and while he was Lady Gaga before Lady Gaga, which people say due to his alternative personalities that he shared with the world. Saying that is an insult to David Bowie in my opinion.

Finally, a third icon, of sorts, dies a couple of weeks earlier, just after his 70th birthday also from cancer also from across the pond. Lemmy from the band Motorhead who maybe not as famous as the previous two was famous in his own right.

God bless these gentlemen and their families, you will be missed.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

January 14, 2016

The odds were not in my favor. I know it's hard to believe that I didn't win the Power Ball lottery's grand prize of $1.5 Billion.

Probably would have blown it all on stupid shit anyway.

Speaking of which, I wonder if I can get that down payment  on the island back...

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

January 13, 2016

They say that when you win the lottery you should try to remain anonymous, go in hiding, escape from all those people that are coming for your money

After all, you have just come into a large sum of money and everyone you know or knew or will know deserves a piece of that pie. Right?

Well, I say boo to that and please feel free to make yourself known,

I could use the cash.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

January 12, 2016

I think those aliens from yesterday or was it two days ago now are messing with my stuff... As there is no way I could skip two days in a row. Right?

Possibly, maybe there was too much bourbon in that last drink and I awoke three days later?

Or I am just trying to make lame excuses in an attempt to get this thing up and running. Yeah, that's it.

Monday, January 11, 2016

January 11, 2016

Oops, the aliens have stolen this post so if you want to read it, head to Mars.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

January 10, 2016

Good thing I don't get paid for my predictions of NFL playoff games...

I got a whopping 25% correct and if it weren't for the actions of a complete moron for Cincinnati, I would have got them all wrong. Maybe I shouldn't pick with my heart. Let's look back....

Game one between Houston and Kansas City, although calling that a game would be a stretch. I picked Houston because, well I'm a Denver Broncos fan and I really really do not like the Chiefs. That's it. If I would have looked at it logically and from a football point of view, I should have noticed that Houston was a pretty bad team and only got in because they won the division, a real weak division. It showed in the "game" though, that's for sure.

Game two was both the best game and the worst. The best because it was very competitive and the Steelers were pretty much walking away with it. The big Ben got hurt and left the game and Cincinnati found a spark and before you knew it they got an interception and had less than two minutes to play. Then.... FUMBLE!!!!! And, Ben Roethlisberger made a valiant return, he couldn't throw the ball very far but the team responded to his return and was on the move. Then, the absolute worse thing to happen to Cincinnati, personal foul followed by another personal foul while the doctors attended to the fallen player. Basically, Cincinnati gave the game to Pittsburgh by the actions of two players that wanted to knock the head off Pittsburgh's best receiver and couldn't handle their tempers. What should have been a long field goal attempt, had the defense held became a chip shot and game-winner for Pittsburgh. This game I got right.

Games three and four were not watched by this blogger because well, he has limited interest in the NFC, sorry. Just know that both road teams won. Seattle won because Minnesota's kicker missed a chip shot field goal to win the game, I wanted Minnesota to win, well let me be honest here, I wanted Seattle to lose. The final game between Washington and Green Bay and I honestly like both teams but was kind of pulling for the Redskins because they hadn't been relevant for a while, whereas Green Bay seems to always be there.

So who am I picking next week? Probably all the home teams to be honest, since they're due. All the road teams won this weekend so, like I said, the home teams are due. My team plays last which always makes me nervous and I feel it puts extra pressure on the lads but I have plenty of confidence in them, even if I have to look away from time to time.

Until next time, peace out!

(no idea why I added that but I did so I must live with it. Editing is for wimps.)

Saturday, January 9, 2016

January 9, 2016

It's playoff time for the NFL! 

It's snowing here!

Christmas decorations are getting taken down to put away. 

Yeah that's it, nothing else. Enjoy your weekend!

Friday, January 8, 2016

January 8. 2016

It's Friday! 

I have nothing to say which means this will go one of two ways. I will either stop after this paragraph is written; or I will ramble on for another six hundred plus words at the end of which you will either think me brilliant, or crazy. 

I'm here to tell you that I think I'm brilliant, at times and crazy!  Probably more of the latter than the former but we don't need to figure out which exactly at this point in time. 

I should amend my earlier statement about six hundred plus words though as I am typing this out on my iPad and I can sense my finger going numb already. I suspect that I am not alone in this problem, since I think a lot of t of people type on their tablets with one or two fingers only. I am currently just utilizing my right index finger while my left hand holds the tablet steady. If this were coming via my phone I would be utilizing my thumbs I suspect. I bet old Mrs. Greenway never thought her typing classes would evolve into something like this. 

By the way, I have no idea who Mrs Greenway is or if she even taught typing since I never took the class and I don't recall there actually being such a person at Northglenn High School back when I went there, last century. 

That blows my mind. I went to high school last century, I got married last century, four of my seven children were born last century... All I can think about is when I started doing some genealogy for my family and came across a great grandparent that had children born in the eighteen hundreds and nineteen hundreds that it is pretty cool, and I wonder if some future great grandchild of mine will think the same thing about us. 

Cool, right?

So anyone going to the Seattle versus Minnesota football game this weekend? If so, are you crazy? It's going to be COLD! I also can't imagine it being that good of a game but I could be wrong. You want my picks for the games this weekend? Sure, I'll give them to you, I'm not afraid. I think that the Texans will end the Cheifs ten game winning streak while extending their playoff losing streak dating back to... Last century. I also think that the Pittsburgh Steelers will be moving on extending Cincinnati's playoff woes. At least this time they can't blame Andy Dalton since his thumb isn't ready for prime time yet. In the NFC I think the Redskins will squeak by the Packers and the Vikings will hold off the Seahawks to move on on the playoffs. 

So much for not having anything to say. 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

January 7, 2016

Naps are awesome, let's make that statement right from the get-go.

Naps help your body recover from all sorts of ailments, mainly one of fatigue.

Naps really are just a short sleep that the body really seems to enjoy.

Naps after 5 pm are never really a good thing. Especially when the nap last longer than twenty minutes and your body even tells you so by waking you up after said twenty minutes, only for you to push the snooze button on your body and then proceed to get in more nap time.

Naps then become something more akin to an actual sleep and when you do an actual sleep after 5 pm, or 5:30 which may now be the case, your body tends to think, cool, I'm done for the day. Until that fateful moment three hours later when something awakens you and you realize that you just fettered away an afternoon and will probably not get back to a normal sleep until well after midnight.

Naps are awesome. No doubt about it but sleeps in the late afternoon most definitely are not.

The above story may or may not have actually happened to the author on this day, please don't judge. Ha! Screw that! Judge all you want, he deserves it and his restless night of non-sleep, the slacker.

Sweet Dreams!

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

January 6, 2016


I have a mild craving for chocolate at this point in time. Or is that moment in time? Whatever it is, I feel the need to go and buy me a chocolate bar. I won't though for several reasons.

1) it's almost 11 pm - chocolate that late isn't nearly as enjoyable as one might think, it'll make you thirsty around 3 am and then you'll have to get up to get a drink and while you are up to get a drink your bladder will suddenly attract your attention. Before you know it you'll have been up for almost seven minutes and won't be able to fall back asleep for at least ten more and your alarm will go off at 530 am but it will feel like a second later.

2) it's not really conducive to losing weight which is one of the things I want to do this year and every year until I am at a much healthier weight, because healthier weight equals better living which equals longer living (aside from a random bus that may or may not come hurtling towards you at some point in the future) which means spending time watching my kids turn into adults and best yet, parents. :)

3) I need to dazzle you all with some real good non-sensical bullshit here because to be quite honest, my mind just drew a blank on what my third reason was and since two is a couple whereas three can be considered several and I did say several, well... You see my logic here right?

4) I really don't want to get dressed and drive to a store to buy a stupid chocolate candy bar, or whatever chocolate temptation there is out there in the world outside my hotel room door. Plus, I'm tired and a bit too lazy to really go out and get said chocolate. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy it that much anyway.

Since I am tired I will now sign off.

Peace out friends!

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

January 5, 2016


I've been thinking about titles this morning, mainly titles in regards to these posts. I've been throwing generic dates up there and it seems to be a copout to me, for some reason. Almost like I am insulting my creativity or something.

My issue, I'll figure it out or just keep giving you the date, which will only become a 'problem' if I post more than once a day - don't laugh, it may happen. Really.

Woke up to some frost on the windows, which is annoying but hey I live in the great midwest where we actually have things called winter, although this one has been really mild so far. I say so far because I believe that the current calendar doesn't represent the seasons properly and should be recalibrated. Why do I say this, because it seems like every year the seasons start later than usual, I know that logically my theory is flawed but I like to run with it anyway. Sure it could be because of El Nino or some other meteorological phenomenon but I like my theory.

So how did the calendar get all messed up you ask?  Okay, so you didn't actually ask so maybe I won't tell you and you will have to figure it out all for yourselves. It does have to do with an ancient race of aliens by the way...

Work is progressing nicely and the back pain is abating slowly, ever so slowly. I blame the holidays, they helped me gain a good ten to fifteen pounds I'm sure, and my back just didn't like all that extra burden. Good thing I'm working on that issue again. Wait, maybe that is the ancient aliens fault, they came to me in the form of snickerdoodles and sugar plum surprises.... yeah that's it. Anyway. I am working on walking as much as my back will allow me, that's irony for you, right? My back wants me to lose the weight but won't allow me to walk to do so...

Okay, the program is done, the calibration is over and I must go back to work.


Monday, January 4, 2016

Jan 4, 2016

Back pain is still present, although not as painful - as long as I don't move.

Other than that today was a good day at work, got lots accomplished and then went and got some beer, only because the hard stuff away from home and responsible adults and children is never a good thing.  Guess what kind of beer I got? Go ahead, guess.

Okay fine, you'd never guess it anyway. Heck, I got it and I don't believe it. It is Michelob Ultra Lime Cactus.

Yeah, it tastes about as good as you would think a light beer would taste and according to the label it has natural flavors, never heard of a lime cactus before but I'm not that into botany, or would that be herbology or plantitis - no, not that last one, it isn't even a word.

The best part of the evening was calling home and having my son tell me that he doesn't know what to talk about and that he was going to go and watch Madagascar 2, yep I was trumped by a cartoon sequel about wild animals in the... wild. Oh well, I still got to see his smiling face and blow him kisses, so it's all good.

Have you ever watched Person of Interest? You should. Why? Because it is freaking awesome. It's also on Netflix and if more of you watch it then maybe, just maybe it will get picked up for another season. If not, then well, the bad guys win.

Hmmm. I have run out of things to say or I have completely forgotten what I was going to write so this must be the part where I blow you kisses and say goodnight. Let's all hope that the back feels even better tomorrow, or I might have to jump to an IPA or something worse, a stout.

I kid, I love that stuff, really not.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Jan 3, 2016

Welcome back to the work week, or maybe that should be the work year?

Yes, I know it's Sunday but sometimes you just gotta suck it up and work. In this case work entailed driving from northern Illinois to mid-southern Illinois. A fun, three and a half hour-ish drive through God's country, especially if God prefers a nice flat boring surface. It could be worse I guess...

I could be being chased by wild animals in the African safari keen on eating me for lunch, or dinner depending on the time of day. I'm not really what I would consider to be breakfast food so it would have to be lunch or dinner. I might go for brunch but let's get serious here, do wild animals really designate eating times like brunch anyway?

So to make things a little more interesting not only did I have to drive down here on a Sunday, after being off of work for the past two weeks, I also had to miss my son's play - he played a blue king in the epiphany play for the homeschooling group that we belong to. A cute king he was too, let me tell you. I saw the dress rehearsals yesterday so I know how cute he looks and how well he knows his lines.

Another wrinkle in this whole thing is that my back decided that it would go out while I got out of my car yesterday while going to the dress rehearsal. Wasn't that nice of it. It started out as a dull throb then intensified to a real sharp-I-don't-wanna-move kind of thing. Yeah, no fun. I did get some relief from some pain cream that my loving wife made and then applied to my back, along with some heat and a little bourbon. This morning it wasn't too bad but now as I type this up, I am in a little bit of agony. I do have pain cream and some meds, but no bourbon. I guess this will tell the tale of the tape when it comes to the medicinal qualities of Jim Beam, right? I suspect the four-ish hours driving the car didn't help much.

The things we do for a job, eh?

Oh well, I need sleep, or something where I don't have to move my back.

One last thing... GO BRONCOS!!

Good night y'all!

Saturday, January 2, 2016

January 2, 2016

Nothing like waking up to a dog trying to get attention.

This dog is crazy and no matter how dead I play, he refuses to accept that as fact and will continually grab my hand in my mouth and try to flip it onto his head. He is pretty adept at it too, like they say practice makes perfect.

His latest and way more effective way of trying to get me out of bed has been to basically smother me in dog kisses, knowing that I am a bit like Lucy from Peanuts and will freak out over "dog germs"!!

Nothing says "good morning," like a dog tongue in your ear.

Friday, January 1, 2016

January 1 - the Beginning

New year new blog.

That's the way things have been rolling around here lately, as in the better part of seven years - I think. I just kind of grabbed that off the top of my head and it may or may not be true but I suspect it to be true, more than not.

Sad, isn't it?

Well. dry those tears because I am back baby, with a capital B! I am reenergized and invigorated into bringing the best freaking writing this side of jelly doughnuts. Bet you didn't know that jelly doughnuts could write did you? I'm here to tell you that not only can they write but they can write very well. Especially the raspberry, that dude is some serious bad-ass and there is no way I could even hold up an eclair to him but I have goals.

I would write them all here but then there would be a recorded version of what I plan on doing and people will be able to come back here in a few months, weeks even and point out how messed up I really am.

"Dude, you said right here on these pages that you would write every day then you proceeded to take the next six weeks off"

Okay, that? I promise won't happen, unless I am sent on an extended vacation where I have no access to the internet, in which case I would have to transcribe all my written words because do you honestly think I would go anywhere without a notebook and some sort of writing utensil. I even have a needle to prick my finger with, along for the ride just in case I need to write it out in blood.

Okay, that last part is so untrue it actually made me laugh out loud. I love making myself laugh, it's a good laugh and I should do it more. Alas, I have been told that I need to "find my happiness" to which I reply "I am happy, what are you talking about"? It's all good because I think I have found my happiness and now that I have it I can venture out and try starting up another blog which will have all of one reader (me) for a long time I imagine. That's okay because you know what? This is for me, so pardon the expression, but if you don't like it, go suck a duck.

Or drive a truck.


I don't give a buck to any of you, in fact, if you want to send me money, feel free to. I won't complain. I promise.

Just took a swig of a drink my brother in law invented or at least, one neither of us had ever had before, so he gets the credit. It's 2 parts bourbon and four parts Sunkist Pineapple Soda, that's it. Over ice, of course, we are a civilized sort.

Speaking of being civil, I will try to keep the swearing to a minimum. No really. I can't have my kids reading my shit and seeing that I say fuck and damn all the time. I can use bitch if it refers to a female dog, or a particularly evil ex-girlfriend, of which I don't think I have. If I do, sorry. I try to be a nice guy, honest I do.

I think that's enough for now, you'll have plenty more to see later as I continue to pound away at the keyboard posting at least once a ... well, I'm not promising anything .... or more!

If you liked what you saw, tell your friends, if not? Tell your friends!! Oh and comment too, that'll be nice, we could build a massive empire of introverted crazy people that no one wants to talk about, or we could chat. Either way.