New year new blog.
That's the way things have been rolling around here lately, as in the better part of seven years - I think. I just kind of grabbed that off the top of my head and it may or may not be true but I suspect it to be true, more than not.
Sad, isn't it?
Well. dry those tears because I am back baby, with a capital B! I am reenergized and invigorated into bringing the best freaking writing this side of jelly doughnuts. Bet you didn't know that jelly doughnuts could write did you? I'm here to tell you that not only can they write but they can write very well. Especially the raspberry, that dude is some serious bad-ass and there is no way I could even hold up an eclair to him but I have goals.
I would write them all here but then there would be a recorded version of what I plan on doing and people will be able to come back here in a few months, weeks even and point out how messed up I really am.
"Dude, you said right here on these pages that you would write every day then you proceeded to take the next six weeks off"
Okay, that? I promise won't happen, unless I am sent on an extended vacation where I have no access to the internet, in which case I would have to transcribe all my written words because do you honestly think I would go anywhere without a notebook and some sort of writing utensil. I even have a needle to prick my finger with, along for the ride just in case I need to write it out in blood.
Okay, that last part is so untrue it actually made me laugh out loud. I love making myself laugh, it's a good laugh and I should do it more. Alas, I have been told that I need to "find my happiness" to which I reply "I am happy, what are you talking about"? It's all good because I think I have found my happiness and now that I have it I can venture out and try starting up another blog which will have all of one reader (me) for a long time I imagine. That's okay because you know what? This is for me, so pardon the expression, but if you don't like it, go suck a duck.
Or drive a truck.
I don't give a buck to any of you, in fact, if you want to send me money, feel free to. I won't complain. I promise.
Just took a swig of a drink my brother in law invented or at least, one neither of us had ever had before, so he gets the credit. It's 2 parts bourbon and four parts Sunkist Pineapple Soda, that's it. Over ice, of course, we are a civilized sort.
Speaking of being civil, I will try to keep the swearing to a minimum. No really. I can't have my kids reading my shit and seeing that I say fuck and damn all the time. I can use bitch if it refers to a female dog, or a particularly evil ex-girlfriend, of which I don't think I have. If I do, sorry. I try to be a nice guy, honest I do.
I think that's enough for now, you'll have plenty more to see later as I continue to pound away at the keyboard posting at least once a ... well, I'm not promising anything .... or more!
If you liked what you saw, tell your friends, if not? Tell your friends!! Oh and comment too, that'll be nice, we could build a massive empire of introverted crazy people that no one wants to talk about, or we could chat. Either way.